Will You Accept This Rosé? Bachelorette Season 12
That is right, the most ridiculous wine filled Monday nights are back! This season our bachelorette is the fun Texas rose, JoJo from Dallas. Jojo was the last Bachelor season's runner-up for Ben Higgins's and to say she was blindsided was an understatement. I'm excited to be gearing up this season with Jojo because she's fun, a guy's girl, and brings down the house when it comes to fabulous outfits. Plus I wouldn't be surprised if we don't see her brothers heavily involved in this drama circus.
Like every season, I nitpick through the Contestants bios and give out my final four picks before the first episode even airs. So grab your wine let's talk my Bachelorette picks! Head over to ABC's site to read the bios here.
The Bachelorette Season 12 Picks
I'm going to start off and say that I find it very odd that they are no longer sharing the men's hometown information in the bios. Is it in an effort to avoid spoilers? Maybe there are too many crazy fangirls? Either way, I want in on what lead to this decision because I'm sure the story is GOOD.
Alex - Our first Bachelor who is 25, a Marine, and his favorite movie being 300. Does this beefcake have high hopes of kicking these other men into a hole for his Jojo? We could only be so lucky.
Ali - He's a bartender and his range of movies is all over the place. This guy is here for the party and free booze. Possibly to be the next bartender on Bachelor in Paradise. Can't blame him, we all want the gig.
Brandon - Because we always need that one guy who belongs in a Nickelback cover band. His actual occupation is being a Hipster and my actual occupation is finishing this glass of wine to pretend this didn't happen.
Chad - You know when you look at someone and think, "Yes, baby!" but they open their mouth and you just can't. Chad answers three questions with the same bad joke and we just can't.
Chase* - Hello my first of the top 4. Possibly Bachelor material? He has a side tattoo, want's a best friend to marry and has a high income. Let's not kid ourselves, we know what they look for. He's adventurous, funny, and I'm guessing his fall from grace stems from Daddy issues. He's got all the makings of top four material.
Christian - Kid has had it rough. An ex-took his dog and he Channing Tatum-ed his way through college. His bucket list items include spoiling his grandchildren. Not a typical thought for a man without kids, so I think it's safe to assume he has one. Get ready to shed a few tears!
Coley - Sorry I fell asleep reading his bio.
Derek*- DEREK, YAS HUNTY. Dem' baby blue eyes! Am I judging solely on looks occasionally? Yes, but it's The Bachelorette, there is no moral compass here. However, Derek has a great bio with marks like; Hook as a favorite movie, admiration for Ben Franklin, and skinny dipping in the ocean. Top him in my four!
Daniel- He's a male model and totally here for the wrong reasons. Especially when you compare your body to a Lambo, you scream villain material.
Evan - Okay, okay everyone go ahead and get your giggles out. This Erectile Dysfunction Expert (my sidebar ads should be REALLY entertaining now) who is apparently great at first impressions and has great "energy". Can we all hope he comes dressed in a little blue suit?
Grant - This firefighter hunk throws red flags up for me. If your ex-slapped you in a bar it's for a good reason or maybe because he threw a dig at Harry Potter. I'm getting Ian from Kaitlyn's season vibes. Great start, terrible ending.
Jake - He's already got plans of impregnating Jojo, so I'm out.
James F. - James owns a boxing club and seems fueled by testosterone. Except when he's watching Les Miserables. Yeah, I don't know either.
James S. - Occupation Bachelorette Superfan and has one tattoo. It's probably of Chris Harrison. James, doll, I'm glad dreams come true but enjoy it while you can, you won't make it past the first night.
James Taylor - He's really wanting to break the mold of single name singers like Cher. James Taylor's entire bio sounds like the lyrics to a Zac Brown Band song. In another world, where he's not a singer/song writer, he'd love to be an NFL Quarterback, so I bet he gives a rose to our actual NFL QB Contestant.
Jonathan - He had me at has his own home and reno-ed it himself but lost me at having the appetite of a twelve-year-old. I think we've hit the section of men who are just fillers.
Jordan* - As in Aaron Rodgers' younger brother. A fallen from the NFL fields quarterback this kid went to Vandy, has his own Wikipedia page, and is probably here for the wrong reasons. Don't let good looks and a bad boy attitude fool you. The writers, I mean Jo, will take him well into top four if not the end. $20 her engagement ring from him looks more like a SuperBowl ring.
Luke* - A former War Vet and with a love for POTUS. Not to mention he looks like a Disney Prince and want's to be a team player for his relationship. I have a simi-good feeling about Luke to the point I'm putting him in top 4 against my better judgment. He's just different from this group of men and we're here for it.
Nick B. - He already states he wants to advance his own career in his fake dream world. Plus his bio screams a bad rom-com where the man is learning how women work. Pass....the wine.
Nick S. - Nick S. looks like he was just birthed from the womb. Shockingly he's 26 but I had him pegged for 20. He loves assimilating into any role or situation. If baby face boy scout makes it past episode one we'll be chugging wine every time he says "I didn't come here to make friends."
Peter - Peter has already started planning his one on one dates for Scuba diving and beach dinners. There really isn't much to dislike but not much to really be in awe over. I think we'll see him arrive and then he'll show back up in the episode he gets sent home. I call these Lost Boys. Who are you? Where did you come from?
Robby - The only man to not say a rose is his favorite flower and for that we'd like to see him get a few of them. Robby is a family guy, a competitive swimmer, and fashionable. All things perfect for Jojo but somewhere deep in my gut, I don't want to like this guy. He's too perfect. Sorry but I'm robbing this rose from you.
Sal - Just like his name his bio is short on letters. His answers are barely there like a kid who's being forced to tell the truth. Did you try Sal? Did you even try? Just like your bio I'll keep this short.
Vinny - Another lost boy. They brought Vinny the barber in to do the guys hair for budgeting issues. Just like you would think Vinny is Italian or just good at cooking Italian. So come cook and do our hair for us, Vin. We'll bring the Dolcetto.
Wells - Okay I heard about Wells awhile ago. The Radio DJ that loved Jojo and made it on the show. I'm here for this plot line and I hope it's as sweet as it sounds. While Wells has issued what is my perfect date because, TACOS and JAZZ, I just don't think for Jojo it's right. This Well will run dry mid-season.
Will - Will looks like the kid from We're the Millers. Anyone? He's down right admitted he's argumentative, but he's also got a sense of humor. I except drunken late night drama interviews.
FINALLY, I had to finish a bottle of wine to get through all these bios. To recap my final four are Chase, Derek, Luke, and Jordan. I think we have a nice mix up of men and very few outlandish characters at the get go. However, we're not even at introductions so I may be speaking too soon. At least there are not twins, right?
Remember to join me over on my Twitter for a live tweet of tonight's episode and every new episode on Monday nights! Let me know down below, who do you think will make it to the top four?
I do like to state that I do not think this is good television, I don't think it hosts good moral values, and it goes against a lot of what I believe. However it's fake, I know it's fake, and sometimes you just need a guilty pleasure to rot your brain out with. Life is hard and shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette make my life seem a little more sane. K, thanks.